I am not going to use real names in this blog and I think it would be inappropriate so ... Me and my friend Fernando Lopez, a friend of over 13 years, started a band for fun and to waste time. Our band is called Traci Shannon and the Plaids. To make ip for the fact that we are not all that good I am using my writing skills to construct funny songs while Fernando knows how to play the guitar.
The Ballard of Ol' Jimmy Clem
*Spoken
This is a little story about grown up
When I was a little one my dad said listen up son
This is something you need to know about life
Life in south Carolina
*Chorus sing
He said boy you better start liken' hookers
Your momma ain't touch my dick in years
Ol' Jimmy Clem pegged her last year
And that's is why I gave the bitch a cauliflower ear
*Spoken
As I grew up he taught me about life
He showed how to shoot a deer
He said boy you better know to fend for yourself
Food stamps don't go far when you can't afford condoms
*Chorus sing
He said boy you better start drinkin' whiske
Bein' in a bar gets you away from home
You may start a fight but who really cares
Ol Sherif Derment passed out hours ago
*Spoken
The older I got the more I learned
He showed me how to drive a truck
He showed how to hate people that are different
I don't think I could ever thank him enough
He said boy you better drop out of school
That fancy book learning' ain't never help nobody
I have been selling gasoline for 20 years
Just remember the whiskey so you forget all the tears
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